It is helpful for me to think of the False Self as unhealthy styles of relating to others that were born out of moments when I experienced harm, betrayal, shame, or loss. Moments when I felt unprotected.

In order to protect myself from further harm or pain, I unknowingly put in place defensive structures to keep myself safe and to arrange for love and connection.

I learned to hide how I was truly feeling.

I shut down and stayed quiet.

I kept my thoughts, opinions, and feelings to myself. They were safer locked away.

I made myself small and manageable, complacent, and “nice.” I became a good girl.

I lightened relational tension by being funny. If I could distract someone from their anger or from their demand to be right and agreed with, then I had a better chance of staying safe and keeping the peace.

I believe it is important to consider our styles of relating - our False Self - with curiosity and kindness. After all, our young selves endured quite a lot. We were trying to survive, trying to stay alive, and desperately needing to be loved and protected.

The Deepening Journey

The Deepening Journey

The Deepening Journey was recorded at The Deepening Weekend, birthed out of friendship and conversations in which our guide team shared our own stories of knowing God, being known by Him, exploring our hearts, and friendships.

Through The Deepening Journey, you are invited to explore with us some of how we were made to live and flourish in the Kingdom of God, what comes against that intended flourishing, and the offer of healing, integration, and restoration

Throughout the six sessions of The Deepening Journey, you’ll have opportunities to explore more of your story and the incredible journey of your heart - in both time alone with God and in community with other women.