</p> <p> Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 NIV </p> <p> Be kind and compassionate to one another. Ephesians 4:32 NIV </p> <p> Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]. Romans 12:15 AMP </p> <p> One recent afternoon, as Sherry and I were painting our vintage camper, I could feel the frustration rise within me with each pass of the paint roller, unwieldy drips, and paint going where I didn’t want it. Sherry was skillfully applying the paint with patience and oddly, delight. I felt increasingly incompetent, eventually putting down the roller with great energy, expressing “I hate doing things I’m not good at, and I’m not good at this. I’m done.” </p> <p> At that moment, Sherry poked her head up from the other side of the camper and responded with kindness, thanking me for joining her in painting, and understanding my frustration. Not trying to make me feel better, she simply released me from my self-imposed pressure to paint perfectly, and suggested that I take a break, that she would finish the painting. It was then that I realized I was in a shame spiral that had little to do with painting, and all the more to do with how I’ve been shamed in my past for not knowing how to do something. Because of her kindness, I was able to name what I was feeling and allow her to be in it with me, dissolving the shame. </p> <p> Often in these moments when we don’t know how to respond, it’s easy to slide into old unhelpful ways, reacting to the situation, missing our spouse’s heart and what is really going on. </p> <p> In the past, we’ve responded to each other in ways that shut the conversation down, closing the door on an opportunity to join our spouse where they are and engage them in a way that can actually offer some healing balm. When we offer verses or cliches initially, we may be attempting to help or to make things “better”, when in actuality, we are often trying to make ourselves feel better, as we are often uncomfortable with our spouse’s emotions, struggle, and pain. We want to rescue, when what they are really crying out for is for their struggle and pain to be witnessed and joined with…to be seen and known. </p> <p> Sometimes we don’t know how to respond to our spouse, and yet, what might feel most helpful in the moment is for them to hear, </p> <p> <strong>“I don’t even know what to say. I’m just so glad you told me. I am with you.”</strong> </p> <p> It is an honor to bear witness to another human being’s story, to our spouse’s story—especially those of pain, sorrow, and heartache. To hold space for their story, their pain, and to bear their burden with them—if for only a few moments—can be an incredible gift. </p> <p> <strong>As you ponder all this with God today, consider asking Him:</strong> </p> <p> <em>Father, what are your intentions for how we handle each other’s hearts and stories with care, kindness, and compassion?</em> </p> <p> <em>Jesus, how have you been present with me in my story, in my struggle? In my marriage? How might I be with my spouse similarly in their story?</em> </p> <p> <em>Holy Spirit, how do you bear witness to my situation, my story, my pain, to my grief? How might I bear witness to my spouse in theirs?</em><br> &nbsp; </p></body> Bible App Reading Plan PDF Download File listening-in-your-marriage-youversion-bible-app-reading-plan.pdf
