Chapter 4: Where It Hurts

This chapter is even more about exposing the unhelpful false self and how we have tried to make life work. Here we investigate the root cause of the false-self: wounding moments and wounding messages. Wounds need treatment—an actual act or time with God where healing must take place.

This is the chapter where we introduce the healing of the heart. Healing is an invitation to see more of the way the two realms and two kingdoms work and its affect on how we live, the environment we are subject to, and the conditions surrounding our invi- tation to pursue healing.

A man who can identify the wounds from his past has accomplished critical aware- ness—very important intel that will aid him in walking with Jesus to the disassem- bling of his false self and for the trading in of all the lies that have made it up.

In this chapter, the enemy’s role is expanded and Jesus’ role is deepened. It is critical to a man’s journey that he identify the hurtful ways in him...Wounds need healing. This is a must for the false self to die and the Beloved Son to emerge.

Chapter 5: Belovedness

Some of the wounding and falsehoods that have been in a man’s way should be start- ing to get out of the way. Linger here a bit when talking to the men. Share an example from your life that you are starting to see God treat/heal. It is time to introduce who we truly are and from where we came. There is some overlap in the first two sections of this chapter regarding a man knowing his story.

In this chapter, the Father is introduced as the central character in a boy’s story. In a man’s story, the Father is the one who bestows love. It is absolutely critical that we are able to receive this love.

Also in this chapter, the concept of Training is introduced.

We have to know experientially our value and worth—why God loves us so and how He is personally speaking, showing, revealing, entrusting, and giving His love. Trust- ing God the Father becomes vitally important and experiencing what He is really like is nothing short of founda- tional. Jesus is key to the rebuilding of that trust and seeing that foundation rebuilt.

Earthly father wounds have made it so that many men don’t trust the Father. They have subscribed to lies about him. Jesus is what the Father is like. Critical to us get- ting right, is us getting Jesus right.

The term “settling our heart” is stressed in this chapter. The relief we get as a result of healing is what settles our hearts. Being loved, letting God love us, exploring what it looks like, and the answer to the question, Can we trust Him? is YES. We are to learn this through experience, not just theology.

This chapter has one more exhortation for a man to look back in his story and deter- mine what happened. It is an intentional circling back, hoping each man will engage with his own personal history so he can be healed and move forward and move on.