Your sons will take the place of your fathers; you will make them princes throughout the land. - Psalm 45:16
Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], even when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6 AMP
The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. - Proverbs 23:24
Performances, recitals, track meets, swim meets, games, practices, tournaments, horses, musical instruments, lessons, and more. They are all part of the great experiment, the great exploration, the world of trial and error when it comes to our kids and their dreams.
And it’s tricky. Not just because of the time and expense, but because it goes on and on, not just when they are young, even older/adult children are attempting, trying, evolving, growing, and changing. Changing majors, changing careers, evolving to find out they don’t love or even like something anymore. Just like us, our kids experience so many failures and hopefully some successes.
And yet, walking beside them, protecting them, and advocating for them isn’t easy. We have our opinions, sometimes strong opinions as to what they should and shouldn’t do, but it’s not, “train up a child in the way we want them to go … It’s train up a child in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6).
“We shall see.”
Those words release control and invite trust. They make room for God to work—both in your child and in you.
Walking beside your child’s dreams does not mean guaranteeing outcomes. It means companionship. It means presence without pressure. It means trusting God with what you cannot control.
God fathers us this way. He invites us forward without revealing everything at once. He walks with us. He provides along the way.
When you walk beside your child’s dreams, you teach them that God is trustworthy.
Two powerful questions come to play here,
How can I help?
What do you need from me?
Whatever the answer is, it doesn’t mean you have to pay for it or even approve. Their answers invite a response, and a loving response can go a long way in helping them discern whether to take steps forward or turn and go another direction. The goal is to unveil the dream, not lecture on responsibility. Responsibility can kill goals, desires, and dreams. Be careful. What did you wish your parents had asked you? What do you wish you had dared to ask from your dad?
One more thing. Be careful. Love can start to feel conditional in these moments. Support can be high or low, but love is different; help them know that you love them just because. Just because they are yours. Saying ‘I’m proud of you’ is a different matter. It’s easy to tell them we are proud of them for success, but can we tell them we are proud of them for trying, stretching, learning, and attempting?
The invitation to dads is to be a wisdom advisor and to see what happens next. Stay clear of being their critic, stay near to being a safe and strong presence.
Reflective Questions
Father, where am I tempted to control outcomes instead of trusting You?
Jesus, what dreams in my child’s life might you be inviting me to walk beside?
Holy Spirit, how does “we shall see” change my posture as a father?