But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to you if you do. - Matthew 18:6-7 MSG
And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. - Mark 10:16
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves ... - Proverbs 31:8
There are moments when a father must step in—not at his child, but for them.
Fighting for your child’s heart means advocacy. It means protection. It means using your strength on their behalf, not against them. When you confront what threatens their heart, you tell them, You are not alone.
Here is Webster’s definition of advocacy: An individual who supports, defends, or promotes the interests of another’s rights or wrongs. Advocating doesn’t mean we approve of the behavior; it means we approve of the person.
It's the connection that leads to advocacy, and advocacy is the antidote to shame. Advocacy requires connection- what do they like? What do they love? What if you ask questions to find out?
One of the best ways to connect and find out is being with them. Questions like, “Can I go with you?” Or “You want to come with me?” Inviting them into your world or nudging your way into theirs is all so you can be with them, so you can ask questions. Meals are another way into their hearts, where do they love to eat? Do you have a special place for a treat or a meal together?
Advocacy can be earned as a dad by taking selfies with them or sending random emojis.
But fighting well for them requires orientation. An unhealed man will fight from fear or anger. An oriented man fights from love.
Remember, your children are asking the same questions you once asked:
Do you see me?
Do you love what you see?
Do you want to be with me?
How you answer those questions—through your actions—shapes their ability to trust both you and God.
Fighting for their hearts and advocating for them also means knowing their story. Where are they wounded? Where are they doubting? Where is God at work? Where is the enemy whispering lies?
You don’t earn the right to ask deep questions by demanding answers. You earn it by listening. By showing interest. By being safe.
God fights for our hearts as men, as dads in the same way. He listens. He pursues. He protects. He does not force trust; He earns trust through love.
Ask God today how He wants to fight through you for your child.
A beautiful way to fight for your kids, to advocate for your children, no matter how old, is to pray over and for them … and against the enemy of their heart. Few fathers do this because few have been taught how.
Reflective Questions
Father, where does my child need advocacy or protection right now?
Jesus, which of the three core questions might my child still be unsure about?
Holy Spirit, what would it look like to fight for my child’s heart with love (curiosity) instead of control (telling them what to think or feel)?