First Name: Stafford
Last Name: Ouderkirk
Email: Satff.ouderkirk@charter.net
Mobile Phone: 703 728-1971
Address:
1320 Belvo Estates Dr
Miamisburg, OH 45342
United States

Birth Month: March
Birth Day: 17
Birth Year: 1949
Why are you interested in pursuing this initiative?:
I am interested in pursuing this initiative because I believe God has been preparing me for it throughout my life, even when I did not recognize what He was doing.
For many years, I measured life by achievement, responsibility, leadership, and caring for others through the roles I held. Those experiences were valuable and shaped me in many ways. Yet over the past few years, God has gently shown me that the greatest gift I can offer another man is not my accomplishments or my answers, but my willingness to listen, care, pray, and walk beside him.
As I look at this season of my life, I realize God has given me a lifetime of experiences, relationships, successes, disappointments, and lessons that can now be used to encourage others. I do not see this as reaching the end of my journey. Rather, I believe it is the beginning of a new calling.
I am not pursuing Elder Sage because I think I have all the answers. I am pursuing it because I want to become the kind of man another person feels safe talking to. I want to learn to listen more than I speak, to understand before offering advice, and to trust God to do the work that only He can do in another person's heart.
If God chooses to use my story to help another man recognize His faithfulness in his own life, I will consider it a privilege to serve.
My hope is to leave this training a little wiser, a little more compassionate, and a little more like Christ than when I arrived, better prepared to walk beside the men God places in my path.


Tell us about your family::
God has richly blessed me with a family that has shaped my life in ways I have come to appreciate more deeply over the years. Looking back, I see His faithfulness woven throughout every season of my life, often through the people He placed around me.
I grew up with my brother and sisters in a home where my parents loved us and worked hard to provide for our family. They were not the kind of parents who regularly sat down to discuss life's deeper questions or offer much personal guidance, but I do not see that as a failure on their part. They gave what they had, and I remain grateful for the love, and values they provided.
Because of that environment, I learned independence at an early age. That independence became one of my greatest strengths, but it also led me to rely heavily on myself. Only years later did I recognize that while my parents gave me a foundation, God was quietly placing other people in my life—teachers, Scout leaders, military leaders, mentors, friends, and eventually Christian men—who would help shape my character and influence my faith in ways I never anticipated.
One of God's greatest gifts has been my wife, Carole. We have been married for more than fifty-five years, and throughout those years she has faithfully walked beside me through military assignments, frequent moves, career demands, retirement, and, more recently, my spiritual awakening. Looking back, I realize that many of the opportunities I was able to pursue required sacrifices from her that often went unnoticed. While I was focused on serving my country and building a career, she faithfully supported me, encouraged me, and stood beside me through every season. Her steadfast love, patience, and unwavering commitment have been a constant reflection of God's faithfulness in my life.
As I look back today, I realize that family is not defined only by those we are born into, but also by the people God brings alongside us throughout life. My parents, my wife, extended family, mentors, and the Christian brothers He has placed in my path have each helped shape the man I have become. Their influence continues to remind me that God often does His greatest work through ordinary people who quietly and faithfully walk beside me


What is your experience with Zoweh events and/or resources?:
My experience with Zoweh began when I attended a Zoweh Encounter several years ago. Looking back, I now realize that event became an important turning point in my spiritual journey. It encouraged me to begin looking beyond what I had accomplished in life and to ask what God was doing in my heart.
One of the greatest blessings from that first Encounter was not only what I learned, but the relationships that followed. I met several men who have become trusted friends, encouragers, and fellow travelers in my walk with Christ. They have continued to challenge me, pray for me,and encourage me to take the next step in my spiritual journey. Those friendships eventually led me to accept the invitation to attend the Elder Sage retreat.
Since then, I have continued to grow through Zoweh resources, particularly The Heart of a Warrior by Michael Thompson. I have participated in and helped lead discussions within our men's ministry as we explored identity, healing, purpose, and what it means to follow Christ as men.
In addition to those studies, I regularly participate in several faith-based men's groups, including a veteran’s fellowship. Those relationships have given me opportunities to listen to other men's stories, share my own journey, and witness how God works through honest conversation, encouragement, and prayer.
Most recently, preparing for the Elder Sage retreat has deepened that journey even further. Writing my personal testimony, reflecting on God's quiet faithfulness throughout my life, and intentionally developing the skills to listen well have all become part of God's continuing work in my heart.
As I look back, I realize Zoweh has been much more than a retreat or a collection of resources. God has used it to introduce me to men who have walked beside me, encouraged me to discover my own story, and helped me grow from simply knowing about Christ to walking more closely with Him. I am grateful for how those relationships continue to shape both my faith and my desire to help other men experience that same hope.


How did you first connect with Jesus in a personal way?:
God and Jesus were always part of my life growing up. I believed in God, occasionally attended church, and considered faith to be important, but for much of my life it remained in the background while I focused on becoming independent and finding my own way.
Military service, raising a family, and building a career reinforced that independence. I learned to solve problems, accept responsibility, and accomplish the missions before me. Those experiences shaped me into the man I became, but they also strengthened my tendency to rely on myself more than on God.
Several years ago, God began quietly changing that. Through a Zoweh Encounter, faithful Christian friends, men's groups, Scripture, prayer, and honest reflection, I began to understand that my relationship with Jesus was meant to be personal, not simply something I believed intellectually. For the first time, I began to see myself not primarily through what I had accomplished, but through God's love and grace.
As I looked back over my life, I recognized something I had never fully seen before. God had been faithfully guiding my journey long before I realized He was doing so. The events of my life had not changed, but my understanding of them had. I began to see His hand in both the ordinary and extraordinary moments that had shaped me.
Today, my faith continues to grow. I do not see my journey as arriving at a destination, but as learning each day to know Christ more personally, trust Him more completely, and follow Him more faithfully.


Tell us about a time when you shared your Jesus story.:
One of the most meaningful opportunities to share my Jesus story has been through writing and sharing my personal testimony, My Story—Getting My Heart Back.
What began as an assignment before attending an Elder Sage retreat became much deeper. As I reflected on my life, I realized I was not simply writing about military service, career experiences, or retirement. I was discovering God's quiet faithfulness woven throughout every season of my life.
Since completing that testimony, I have shared portions of it with close Christian friends, men in our fellowship groups, and others who have encouraged me throughout my spiritual journey. Their responses have been deeply humbling. Rather than focusing on me, many have shared that my story caused them to begin reflecting on God's faithfulness in their own lives.
That has become my greatest hope whenever I share my testimony. I do not want people to remember my story. I hope they leave encouraged to discover their own story and recognize the many ways God has been quietly working in their lives, often long before they realized it.
Sharing my testimony has also reminded me that every man has a story worth telling. Sometimes all he needs is someone willing to listen with compassion, patience, and genuine interest.


Explain your familiarity with the following terms: wounds, vows and agreements.:
One of the most meaningful opportunities to share my Jesus story has been through writing and sharing my personal testimony, My Story—Getting My Heart Back.
What began as an assignment before attending an Elder Sage retreat became much deeper. As I reflected on my life, I realized I was not simply writing about military service, career experiences, or retirement. I was discovering God's quiet faithfulness woven throughout every season of my life.
Since completing that testimony, I have shared portions of it with close Christian friends, men in our fellowship groups, and others who have encouraged me throughout my spiritual journey. Their responses have been deeply humbling. Rather than focusing on me, many have shared that my story caused them to begin reflecting on God's faithfulness in their own lives.
That has become my greatest hope whenever I share my testimony. I do not want people to remember my story. I hope they leave encouraged to discover their own story and recognize the many ways God has been quietly working in their lives, often long before they realized it.
Sharing my testimony has also reminded me that every man has a story worth telling. Sometimes all he needs is someone willing to listen with compassion, patience, and genuine interest.


Tell us about a significant wounding moment that you experienced.:
When I reflect on my life, I realize my most significant wound was not created by one dramatic event. Rather, it developed quietly over many years.
From an early age I learned to become independent. My parents loved me and provided for our family, but much of my understanding of life came through my own experiences and through the many adults God placed along my path. Independence became one of my greatest strengths, but it also led me to rely heavily upon myself.
Over time, I measured my value by my ability to perform, succeed, lead, and meet expectations. Military service and my professional career reinforced many of those qualities. They were honorable pursuits, yet they gradually became part of how I defined my identity.
Retirement exposed something I had never fully recognized. As many of the titles and responsibilities disappeared, I found myself asking questions I had never seriously considered before: "Who am I apart from what I have accomplished?" and "What does God see when He looks at me?"
That season became the beginning of God's healing work in my life. Through Scripture, faithful friends, men's groups, and deep personal reflection, I began to understand that my identity is not rooted in performance but in being God's beloved son.
Looking back, I now see that God used even that wound to draw me closer to Himself and to prepare me to walk more compassionately beside other men who may be asking many of the same questions.
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Explain your personal familiarity with spiritual warfare.:
My understanding of spiritual warfare has grown gradually through my walk with Christ rather than through dramatic experiences.
For much of my life, the greatest spiritual battles I faced were internal. Pride, self-reliance, the desire to achieve, and believing my identity depended upon my performance quietly influenced the way I viewed myself and the world around me. At the time, I did not recognize those struggles as part of a spiritual battle.
Over the past several years, God has gently revealed those patterns through Scripture, prayer, trusted Christian friendships, and honest self-reflection. I have come to understand that spiritual warfare often involves believing lies about our identity rather than embracing the truth of who we are in Christ.
As God has continued His work in my heart, I have experienced greater freedom through prayer, confession, repentance, and trusting His grace instead of my own strength. I know the battle continues, but I also know that Christ is faithful, and that lasting victory comes through remaining close to Him rather than depending upon myself.
My familiarity with spiritual warfare is not based upon extraordinary events. It comes from experiencing God's patient work of transforming my heart and teaching me to recognize the daily battle between self-reliance and surrender to Him.


Give an example of how you have heard from God.:
I have never heard the audible voice of God, yet I can honestly say He has spoken to me in many meaningful ways throughout my life.
Most often, I recognize God's voice through Scripture, prayer, circumstances, and the wise counsel of other believers. There have been times when a particular passage of Scripture spoke directly to a question I had been wrestling with. At other times, God has used trusted Christian friends to offer encouragement or wisdom that I needed to hear at exactly the right moment.
Perhaps the greatest way I have heard from God has been by looking backward over my life. As I have reflected on my journey and written my personal testimony, I have come to recognize His quiet faithfulness in ways I never understood before. Events that once appeared unrelated now reveal a pattern of God's loving guidance, even when I was unaware of His presence.
One example that stands out is my invitation to attend a Zoweh Encounter and, later, the Elder Sage retreat. At first, I viewed those invitations simply as opportunities presented by friends. Looking back, I now see them as part of God's gentle invitation to begin a deeper journey of knowing Him and allowing Him to reshape my heart.
Hearing from God has not been about dramatic moments for me. It has been about learning to recognize His faithful presence through ordinary circumstances, faithful friendships, His Word, and the quiet prompting of the Holy Spirit over time.


Have you had any training in listening and/or engaging in another man's story?:
I have not received formal clinical training in counseling or psychotherapy. My preparation has come primarily through life experience, recent Christian discipleship, and intentionally learning to become a better listener.
Throughout my military career, professional leadership roles, and volunteer ministry, I have spent many years listening to people facing challenges, making difficult decisions, and working through personal and professional struggles. While those experiences taught me the importance of listening, they also showed me how easy it is to offer answers before fully understanding another person's heart.
Over the past several years, my preparation has become much more intentional. Through Zoweh, participation in several Christian men's groups, veterans' ministries, and my work with Crosswinds Foundation's Warrior Hope program, I have learned that one of the greatest gifts we can give another person is our presence and our willingness to listen without trying to fix them immediately.
Preparing for the Elder Sage retreat has deepened that understanding even further. As I have reflected on my own story, practiced listening skills, studied thoughtful questions, and learned to become more comfortable with silence, I have discovered that meaningful conversations begin when people feel safe enough to share what is truly in their hearts.
I continue to view myself as a lifelong learner. I am not pursuing Elder Sage because I believe I have mastered the art of listening. I am pursuing it because I desire to grow into the kind of man who listens with humility, compassion, patience, and wisdom, trusting God to do His work in another person's heart.


Which of the following books have you read?: King Me, The Heart of a Warrior, The Screwtape Letters, Wild At Heart
How did you discover the Elder-Sage Initiative?: Another Elder-Sage
What is the best time to call you?: Tuesdays - Early Morning
Reference
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First Name: Don
Last Name: Jenkins
Email: djenkins@leadersadvantage.us
Phone: 803-240-7391