The View page displays a submission's general information and data. Watch video
Submission information
Submission Number: 79
Submission ID: 8241
Submission UUID: f33f8ae1-dbab-41c9-8d7a-e3d774fa92a3
Submission URI: /form/elder-sage-application
Created: Sat, 06/20/2026 - 03:39
Completed: Sat, 06/20/2026 - 22:48
Changed: Sat, 06/20/2026 - 22:48
Remote IP address: 2604:f440:8:4003:81dd:c370:7c63:472a
Submitted by: Anonymous
Language: English
Is draft: No
Webform: Elder-Sage Application
Submitted to: Elder Sage Application
Joseph
Zgrabik
geescravi@gmail.com
7042215875
6010 Webster Way
Waxhaw, NC 28173
United States
Waxhaw, NC 28173
United States
March
14
1960
I would like to be there for other men in their struggles just as other men have been there for me in my struggles and continue to be there for me and for each other. I feel I have the gift of encouragement and empathize with other men in the battles they face. I sense the Lord speaking to me to tell me this is a good direction for me to pursue.
I have been married for 41 years to my wife, Alfia. We have three adult children, Jacob (36), Hannah (34) and Aaron (30). Our two sons live in Phoenix, AZ and our daughter lives in Roanoke, VA. We have three grandchildren, from our son Jacob and his partner, Lisa. Jacob and I were always at odds, and I never thought I would ever have any kind of relationship together, but one day we talked about it all and hugged each other and shed a lot of tears. Today we are very close, all by the grace of God. Our youngest, Aaron, is in a recovery program in Phoenix.
I first heard about through the one day event, Dangerous for God. At the time I was more involved with John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart, but saw many parallels and good information in both. I attended Heart of a Warrior for the first time this past April 2026
I gave my life to Christ in 1979, after a friend convinced me that I should read the Bible. This got my curiosity and I managed to get a free Bible from somewhere because the enemy just would not let me buy one. I didn't know which one to buy so I just put it off for months. Then one day I was with a friend in the park, and I just started talking to the Lord, unknowingly out loud. I just figured I was just talking to myself, but then the Holy Spirit (didn't know it was Him but new something was different) - I can't even put it into words, implanted in my mind, convinced me, whatever you want to call it, that I needed to call out to Jesus for help. I believe when I did this, I became a believer because I already knew in my heart of hearts that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead. My calling out to Him sealed the deal that He did this for me. I say I got saved in 1979, but I came to really know the Lord in 1996 after my mother had passed away 2 years previous to this encounter with God in the desert of Tucson, AZ where we were living at the time. This encounter changed my perspective on how God reaches me and how intimacy with me is what He most wants in my life.
I have shared my story twice recently in two different men's groups. Both time at The Barn in Indian Land, SC. I told about growing up Catholic with five brothers and one sister in Cleveland, OH and stories of how the nuns treated their students. I was humiliated in the 2nd grade and since then Jesus has redeemed me by walking with me through the incident allowing me to see what should have happened. Even going as far as telling me, "Ignore her (the nun) and come with me. I can't tell you how freeing that was.
A wound is something that you have experienced that has driven your life to do things that you either have no idea you are doing or are stuck because someone has caused so much pain that it only brings about anger and believing lies about yourself and God. Wounds caused us to live a life in our false self. Vows, say I will never be like that person, do what that person has done, ever be like my father, ever be like my brother and turn from anything this person has done. Agreements are things we say are good in many ways and help us to make better choices. I made an agreement with myself and God that I will not react to anything my wife says without asking myself these two questions and agreeing on the next statement. first one - Do you think your wife is malicious? [I normally immediately say, No]. So, what is going on, then? Next, do not respond until you have the big picture (85%, 95% is not enough). This usually requires me to take some emotional risk, asking questions.
My father wound was one of the biggest wounds for me that God has allowed me to walk through and bring about healing of my soul. I would always ask my dad for his advice when I needed to decide about something. He would never give it and say something to the effect, "I am not going to give you advice because if it doesn't turn out, you are going to blame me for your decision." I always looked at that as him being a cop out and feeling abandoned as a result, especially at a time when I could have really used his guidance. Then while reading, "Wild at Heart" The Father wound chapter God spoked to me about my father wound. He asked me pointed questions. Like, "Do you think your dad loved you?" [Yes, of course] Do you think your dad hated you? [No, not at all]. "What do you think he really meant when he said what he said?" "Do you think your dad gave you advice?" [What? Really!] This is where God healed me. I said "No" and then he showed me how my God lived by example and he trusted me to do the right thing(s), make good choices by the example he was to us all. I broke down in tears and the lie was exposed. This has given me much more courage to make decisions now, where before I would have a hard time picking what restaurant to eat at - I mean agonize over it.
Spiritual warfare is real. The devil is real but God is more powerful than him. I would say the greatest spiritual battle every man faces is sexual satisfaction and the enemy knows it. God has designed us as men with this drive but the enemy constantly looks for ways to pervert it. The Scriptures tell us that the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. This is why we need to be in an intimate relationship with God and with our spouse to battle his wiles against our souls. The enemy is subtle and being in fellowship with other men helps us to talk about those attacks and makes us stronger for the next battle we face.
I have so many examples and just had an encounter with God on my porch this evening that allowed me to say this simple statement to my wife who was sitting on the sofa at the time doing her schoolwork. "I am so glad that we can be together and have fun together!" Nothing earth shattering, but what has this done for my wife's soul. I may never know! A few Carolina Outpost ago, as I was going on the spiritual journey walk (my name for it), we were approaching the chapel with the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace and I felt like God gave me nothing, until, He said this to me, "Just relax!" I would like to say I complied willingly, but I did not. In fact, I got somewhat angry at God and said some choice words [If you will allow me to be real here] "WTF is that supposed to mean, God" Again, I heard, “Just relax!” I had to hear a few more times until my heart settled down. I was everything but relaxed. Now I was getting curious, my heart shifted to, "What is going on? "Next, God drew me to the side outside of view of everyone and I fell to my knees. More, "What is going on God?" Now, I knew I was in God's presence. Then it started: [I cannot tell this story without weeping] "Joe, I am so proud of you! Me: Thanks Lord, I really appreciate that!" God said this to me repeatedly again until He and I knew that I got it. I shall never, ever forget this encounter I had with my Lord, The King of kings, the lover of my soul, the One who calls me a Warrior for His Kingdom.
I have had some time to listen to other men's stories, but I know this is something God wants me to do more of. I am just not sure how to do it as it seems that every time I reach out not much happens. Even so, I am not giving up because I think this is the path the Lord has me on. I need to listen more. I have been listening better to my one friends stories and his struggles, and this has brought us closer together as friends and brothers. At The Barn, I am in a group with other men where we listen to each other’s stories.
King Me, The Screwtape Letters, Bondage Breaker, Victory over the Darkness, Wild At Heart, Fathered By God, Mere Christianity
Heard about this at the last Heart of a Warrior event this past April 2026
Fridays are best as I work remotely on Friday's and can take calls. Tuesday is about the only day that is very busy. Monday morning is good too. Wed or Thurs evening is fine too.